Road Rage... and Other General Anger Issues ;)

Driving along, you always think your own driving is far superior to any of the other drivers on the road. I mean, YOU are the one that's cautious... you use your turn signals and your rearview mirror after all! SO what if you've caught yourself veering into another lane a time or two OR that you MIGHT have, ACCIDENTALLY, cut off that car when you were turning out of the grocery store parking lot...causing the unsuspecting person to slam on their brakes and the car behind them (who wasn't paying attention) to yank their steering wheel so hard they had to overcorrect, hence doing a little 360 degree "dance", if you will. YOUR own superior driving skills are never brought into question (well, maybe by your spouse, grrrrr)! For the record, when I do make a "bad driving decision", I feel bad and I try to wave, with an apologetic look on my face. NEVER pretend you have no idea that you did anything wrong; that's just annoying!

I have a problem...a problem with road rage (and probably losing my temper in general)! I don't carry a gun for this very reason...I can just picture the headlines "The Minivan Road Rage Bandit Shoots Yet Another Elderly Driver/Vegas Pedestrian/Vacationer/'Any Category of Person'"! With that being said, I rarely get angry, but when I do, watch out! Few have seen my inner monster rise up and I'm pretty sure the one's that have are still laughing to this day!

Just the other day, the boys fell asleep in their car seats so I decided to take the long way home, down Las Vegas Blvd (probably not a good idea for any person with anger issues)! I was stopped at a red light and there was a crosswalk behind me. The light turned green, the cars in front of me stepped on the gas...I do the same (duh) and this CRAZY, StUpID, B***** walks right in front of me! I slam on the brakes and immediately, my heart rate starts to increase in direct proportion with her level of DUMB (I can always feel the rage coming)! This lady then practically crawls up my front bumper and onto the hood of my minivan while shaking her fist and screaming. Yep, this pushed me over the edge. Mind you, the light is still green, there's a ton of traffic behind me and it only makes sense to ignore the lady. Do I ever do what makes sense? NO WAY! I slam the minivan into park and throw open my door (after looking in my side view mirror to make sure I was clear, of course)... OH WAIT, I have BABIES in the back...sleeping soundly...who don't know their mother is a raging lunatic when it comes to people that are dumber than rocks and not afraid to prove it! I take a deep breath and wait for the moment to pass, shutting my door. The lady apparently saw the rage in my eyes because she scurried off, not looking back. I proceed with caution.

I used to work in banking... where keeping anger in check was mandatory if you valued your job (which I did)! Let me tell you, the number of people that come into a bank and are persistent in their stupidity is astronomical (ask anyone in the industry)! A "repeat offender" for overdrafts waltzed into my office, and demanded a fee be reversed. I explained to her that during our last conversation we had agreed that I would be waiving no more fees and that she needed to take responsibility for making sure she had money in the account. It was a pretty simple concept, don't you think? No money = no spend! Me saying no more fee reversals = no more fee reversals! Even someone with an elementary school education gets this! This girl proceeded to "talk" louder and louder, using profanity while becoming more an more demanding. Usually, I kept my composure, remained professional, diffused the situation, and tricked myself into keeping my mouth shut. Well, when this girl saw I wasn't budging with my decision, she gets up from her chair, stomps to the doorway, turns around...shouts "F*** YOU!" at me, and slams my office door shut. *Commence anger issue now!* I leapt out of my chair and to the door, throwing it open. I caught a glimpse of the back of her heading out through the automatic doors and, in my business attire and heels, I began to chase her (because I was going to beat her a** in the parking lot)! I didn't care about my job at this point, I didn't care about the line of patrons in my lobby. I cared about one thing only and that was getting my paws on this miserable excuse for a human! Scrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech! I'm sure that's the sound my heels made on the floor when Shirley, my friend and coworker, grabbed the back of my suit jacket to stop me (her office was next to mind and she heard the whole thing going down). Apparently she valued my job more than I did! I simply turned to the customers, smiled, and went back to my office, closing the door calmly! Shirley was laughing, my staff was laughing, and I, too, began laughing. I couldn't believe I had let this girl get under my skin!

What's the point of me sharing my stories of rage with you, you ask? Well, I just want to let people know that they are not alone in their road rage ;) Rage happens! People consider me even tempered and easily able to keep my cool yet I STILL have my moments :) Am I proud of these moments? They're kinda funny actually. Am I able to learn from them? Enough to keep me alive! I'll let you in on a few secrets to keeping your calm. When you come across someone who incites rage in you, picture them with an ax stick out of their head...this always brings satisfaction to me :) Next, since rationalizing does no good, remind yourself of the many people that carry guns and how you don't want to end up dead on Las Vegas Blvd with two sleeping babies in your backseat! You'll still be angry at this point so take a deep breath and count backwards from ten. When that doesn't work, just drive on...life is too short to stay angry!