Cesarean/C-section Delivery

Wow, another Throw Back Thursday is here already! Ok, so it's Monday, but in Mommyland, all days blend together. This week, I'll walk you through my C-section!

"Are you wanting to try to have your twins NATURALLY?" My high-risk doctor asked a couple months into my pregnancy. I wanted to blurt out "HELL NO"... wait, who are we kidding, that's EXACTLY what I said to him! I then asked his thoughts on the matter and, after chuckling, he told me that it was rare for a first time mother of twins to be able to push them both out. What's this mean? It means that if you try to do it naturally and fail, then you've messed up your abdomen along with your "tender parts"! NO THANK YOU!

You work so hard to survive endless months of "the joys of pregnancy", so why not make the delivery easy? For a control freak, like myself, this is PERFECTION! Here's how my delivery went...

Scheduled for December 7th at 10:00. Went to the rodeo the night before. Got a late night call that we were moving the delivery to 1:00. NEVER HAD ANY CONTRACTIONS! Had babies. Ok, ok, so that's a TINY bit abbreviated...here's a little more detail.

Marc excited and ready to go!

We got to the hospital and gowned up; I got my IV. Marc got in his daddy blue gear, aka scrubs, and they took all of my vitals. BORING. Then comes the fun! They wheeled me to the operating room (because apparently they don't feel I'm capable of walking?) and introduce me to the TEAM, yes team, of people that were going to be there. The anesthesiologist began the spinal block. "Sit up and lean over", he says. "Lean over more," he says. WTF? Now I'm not sure how exactly I'm supposed to lean over any more when my stomach is the size of a large beach ball? However, since this guy is in control of my level of comfort, I kept my mouth shut. Marc watches from a window while the good doc tries several times to find an opening between my vertebrae...I heard it looked gross and I KNOW it hurt like hell! Finally he jammed that thing in there and all was good.

They laid me down, the flimsy partition went up... I went numb. I rapidly spouted off to Marc that I was terrified by the fact they were slicing me open and yanking things out of me! The worst part...they tell you EVERYTHING before they do it. I DON'T want to know when you're sliding a scalpel across my oh-so-tender skin and I especially DON'T want to know when you're cutting into my uterus. GROSS! I asked Marc if he wanted to "venture to the other side of the partition"; he said no before I was even done asking! I caught a glimpse of what was going on, in the reflection on the overhead hanging light, before I jerked my head away so fast that I surely had a mild case of whiplash!

Babies with what appears to be my floating head...

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" cried Jax, formerly known as "baby number 1". They whisked him by to clean him off and what did I say, you ask? My first word, in regards to my precious firstborn was, indeed, "EWWWWWWWWW".  Come on now, really though? Those things are covered in grossness and shouldn't be seen until they're prettied up a bit anyway! No sooner was I trying to retract my "Ewwwwww" (or at least defend it), "baby number 2", Alek was crying!

Marc held my hand while they sewed me up...oh wait, that's the story I made up in my head! What Marc really did was LEAVE ME on the operating table, abdomen wide open. Why? So he could go see his little babies! How quickly I became number three on his list of priorities ;) Both babies were perfect in every way...they were hella ugly little creatures but they were "perfect" hella ugly little creatures! (Do NOT scroll down if baby penis' scares you!)

Jax and Alek..."precious".

I laid there for another 15 minutes, ALONE (not that I'm still bitter), and the whole thing was over. 25 minutes from start to finish was all it took! So, if you're fearing a C-section, be thankful it's 25ish minutes of numb fun vs possible hours of labor followed by the tearing of your "tender parts"!

Maybe next TBT, I'll tell you what your hospital stay will be like ;) Until next time friends...