Teething Demon Babies


Most babies give their parents a break between not sleeping through the night and teething. Not only did my "now teething babies" NOT give us a break, they actually overlapped this whole timeline thing they're supposed to follow (what jerks)! Ok, so they're babies; I'll cut them a little slack and I'll be thankful that we are actually getting this all over with sooner rather than later.



Photo by Polar Cruises

My monsters got their two bottom teeth at four months and now they're working on their top teeth.  I swear, when babies cut teeth they morph into demons. There's no nice way to put it. You'd think they were sprouting walrus tusks with the way they carry on. I'm not into medications for babies (or adults for that matter), so they don't get the "almighty" teething pills I've heard so much about. What do they get? They get frozen wash cloths, teething rings, and, their favorite, MY FINGER!


Here's my suggestions on dealing with teething babies.

1) Distract them. I don't care how you do it. Distracted babies are happy babies! I choose to dance around like a banchee in my living room. I shake my booty, I do the chicken dance, I even did a somersault today! Have you ever thought about what a weird word somersault is? Somersault.

2) When you've burned more calories than you've taken in for the day AND the teething babies are no longer amused with your cool dance moves, shove that frozen washcloth in their mouth. A full piehole is a quiet piehole! How exactly do you freeze a washcloth? First, wash a few with no detergent and use some vinegar in the wash cycle (to remove all the chemicals). If they've dried, get them wet and ring them out. At this point you can just wad them up and throw them in the freezer, BUT what I do is roll them up into tight little Swiss Cake Roll looking things. You're done. Give them to your teething babies as needed.

3) Your demonic, teething babies will only chew on these washcloths for so long and then they're back to carrying on like nobody's business. At this point, let them scream for a few minutes to tire them out, and put them down for a nap. FORGET about their "schedule" because your sanity is more important! I figure they need extra sleep anyway... growing teeth is hard work don't you know!

4) The babies will wake up at some point...and you will cringe. But don't worry, it will be fine! This is temporary! Keep that in mind! I've found they've kind of reset themselves after sleeping, so they're good to play for a while before they "remember" they hate life. Let them play! I put them on their play mats (and keep all small toys away) so that they don't focus on things that fit in their mouths.

5) Keep repeating this horrid cycle until bedtime. Mix it up a bit throughout the day by keeping your "adult sippy cup" aka wine glass (or in my case, Jack and Coke cup) full. Buy some earplugs; trust me, you can still hear their screams with them in. And, remember, "enjoy these times because they don't last forever"! Bwhahahaha, don't you love (hate) it when people tell you that ;)